On January 19th, 2014, I posted the picture above on my Facebook page. All the comments and supportive words were so sweet and I feel very blessed to have so many positive people in my life! So, why the "year of me"? Well....obviously turning 40 is a HUGE milestone, and for some reason, it's freaking me the fuck out (sorry -not really-, the f-bomb came out quick this time).
All these thoughts are constantly in my head.....
The mirror just shows me "old". I need to be better about balancing my job and family. I don't spend enough time enjoying life. I have a son that's going to be in high school next fall. The "11" between my eyebrows is getting deeper and deeper. I need some damn botox. My body just doesn't recover well anymore. My body isn't looking the way I like it to look - maybe I shouldn't have this next glass of wine. :) My boyfriend is 6 years younger than me, so I will officially be a cougar *meow bitches*- LMAO!! ;)
The past 2-4 months I have been in a GIANT funk and no matter what I tried to tell myself, I just wasn't coming out of it. Even the week of The Fittest Games, all I kept thinking was "I'm 39, competing against a bunch of twentysomethings.", and all I wanted to do was get it over with and be done competing for good. I PR'd twice on the first day and I didn't feel that normal "high" you get when you PR. Sure, I was happy about it, but it just wasn't the same. Then one day, about a week after the games, I had an epiphany....I wasn't doing the things I love to do anymore, I was just going through the motions and doing what everyone else around me was doing and it wasn't making me feel good mentally or physically. I remembered the above FB post and went back to read it again. It reminded me that I'm no bullshitter, so if I'm going to make this the "year of me", I need to get started!
I made the decision that after The Fittest Games, I was no longer going to "train" for CrossFit and most likely will never compete again - *I reserve the right to retract this at any time ;)* I want to bring some of the fun back into my workouts, and in my opinion, doing a snatch or clean - Every. Damn. Day. Is not fun. I like to pick up stones, kegs, flip tires, climb ropes - all the things that drew me to CrossFit in the first place - and it gets on my nerves to have to "work" on things every day....sometimes I just wanna break a damn sweat and move on with my day! Hence, anyone that knows me, or has worked out with me, knows that I like looooong and light wods, with 3-5 movements (FGB is a favorite of mine, so is Open WOD 13.2) and I'm enamored with Strongman. Daily strength and OLY sessions, really bore the shit out of me LOL!! I knew it had to be done for competition, so I did it, but it's not something I want to do on the daily, so I'm going to cut that down.
With the decision to no longer "train" for CrossFit and just have fun, it also means I won't be participating in this year's Open. If you read that FB post ^^up there^^, along with health, fitness and beauty, it also lists motherhood and relationships as two more things I want to focus on this year. These two things are essentially what made my decision about the Open easy. I feel like time worrying about my placement in a WOD, worrying about how I'm going to attack it, how I'm going to train for the week while I wait for the Open WOD to come out, is time wasted - and guess what? I KNOW I'm not going to the Games, so what does it all matter anyway??!! I'm not bashing the Open, I'm just not one of those people that NEEDS something like that. It's not what I thrive on. I didn't get into this business to compete, I did it to change lives and teach people about healthy living. Sure it's fun stuff, but as long as I look and feel good, and am helping people reach their goals, I'm a happy girl :) Plus....I'm 39 competing against a bunch of twentysomethings!!! - There's that mind fuck again.....#itsonlyanumber, right?
So along with changing up my workout routine, I also made a change to my work schedule at the gym. Beginning in January, I gave up my M/W/F 5:15pm class to take over the T/TH 5:30am class, so I could have evenings off to spend more time with my son. Sure, it's tough to get up at 3:45-4am every day, but to me, it's totally worth it. At 13, he wants/needs mom less and less, so I am cherishing every moment we get to spend together, and I'll have peace of mind that when he is older, he will know that his mother did everything in her power to be there for him when he needed her most. I'll also be able to reconnect with some "non-CrossFit friends" that I haven't seen in ages, due to our schedules just not meshing. I'm looking forward to talking about something other than workouts LOL!! And, of course, I'll have more time with my babes :)
What have I done so far to change up my workout routine? Well, I'm glad you asked! I like for every day to be something different and exciting,
so I don't PLAN my workouts. If I see the class WOD we have programmed and like it, I do it. If I see something online, I'll do that. I might even combine several workouts together. I still lift heavy and go hard, I just also do isolation work and don't focus on OLY as much. I have taken up indoor cycling at Ride http://www.ride-indoorcycling.com/
and try to do it at least once a week - it's like therapy, SO amazing!!!! I have also recruited some of my members to kick my ass back into long distance
running, and have committed to doing a 10k with them (gotta eeeeaaase back into it, so no half marathon's yet!!). So far I'm loving all the changes and my body/mind are feeling
GREAT!!! So long FUNK!!! :)
So here I am...on this life journey. Moving forward. Doing what I need and want to do for me, my son and my man. Because in the end, all that matters is making the most of every day and living your life to the fullest with the people you love the most!!
Looking forward to continuing this "year of ME" - I'll keep you all posted on how it goes :)
