My Struggles with Balance

 

Work/Life Balance....does this actually exist?  If so, I have yet to find it - LOL!!  I struggle with this pretty much on a daily basis.  My 2012 New Year's Resolution was to have it, and while it's definitely much better, I still have some work to do in order to get that complete feeling of balance in my work and my life.

I think most of my struggles come from wanting to please EVERYBODY.  My son, my boyfriend, friends, members, and fellow coaches at CFRR.  I don't think people realize how much it takes to be a CrossFit coach - a good one at least.  We don't just show up and coach a WOD, if that's what you're thinking.  Those of you that take my classes, know that if you don't show up, I text or email you to find out why.  I also make sure to congratulate and recognize my class members for their outstanding efforts in class and out.  If a member is having a hard time outside of the gym in real life?  Here comes Aggie texting, emailing or FB'ing (yes, it's a word) to make sure they're ok - let's just say on any given day, I'm emailing, texting and FB'ing A LOT of people.  Add to that my Gym Manager responsibilities and the coaches workout... I'm not left with much time.  But  PLEASE don't get me wrong - I love my job!!  It's my passion to help people change their lives for the better and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I guess I struggle the most with my family time.  It's hard to separate my work from my family, because I feel like everyone at CFRR is a part of my family!!  My boyfriend and I usually see one another for about 30 minutes in the morning and then maybe an hour or two in the evening.  We both work Saturday's quite often, so Sunday is really our only FULL day off together.  I share custody of my son with my ex-husband, so I only get to see him every other week, and even then, it's not much more than what I see my boyfriend :(  I always have tremendous guilt, because I feel I take for granted the fact that my son is, well...my son, and he will always be my son and love me.  So, I tend to put work before anything, and that's where the guilt comes in.  I ask myself questions like "When he's older, will he understand why I worked so much?" "Does he realize I'm HELPING people?"  "Will he resent me for not being there more, or will he be proud of what I have accomplished?". SO many questions and SO much guilt.  I'm sure every working mother out there has feelings of guilt.  I know I'm not alone, for sure.  Right?  Hello??  Is anybody out there??  Cheesus, please someone tell me I'm not alone in this haha!!!

  So, what have I done since making that New Year's Resolution to improve on this work/life balance thing?  I'm glad you asked!!  ;-)  At the beginning of the year, I switched my morning classes to be back to back on the same days, so I'm not waking up at 4am every day, therefore, I'm not "grumpy mom/girlfriend" when I get home.  I also omitted two classes from my roster and just recently gave up another (you should definitely check out the Saturday 9am with coach V - she's great!).  I make sure I leave the gym by 6:30pm every night and when I get home we have a pretty strict policy of no FB or phones/computers after 7:30pm (yes, I know I'm posting this after 7:30pm on FB, but I'm still a work in progress people!!).  Those adjustments have helped a lot, but like I said, I still have some work to do.  If you have any suggestions, PLEASE..send them my way!!!!

Good luck to all you working moms out there....stay focused and stay strong!!


XOXO
coach Aggie
"Strong is the New Sexy"